Sunday, May 4, 2014

My Leaking Soul: Current Struggles

You haven't spoken a word to me in a month. Besides the time you grew a pair (sort of) and explained to me your reasoning.

I've done my best to be patient, but now all my memories of you have been drowned in a forgotten past. Sometimes they bubble to the surface when I see a picture of you and a bitter, icy shiver stabs my heart and swiftly melts away with the next distraction.

It's a difficult feeling to describe. I no longer love you in any way. I want to know how you're doing; I still care. But love of any kind is very very far from anything I feel for you. You have ruined every chance we ever could have had at being friends in the future simply by pretending I don't exist.

You have a deceiving aura of destruction that parades itself around as a caring and loving person.

I am completely 100% over you as a person, but it is going to take a long time to recover from what you did to me.

All I know is that I have grown into the confident woman I was born to be because of you and for that, I thank you.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

It is difficult for me to not listen to the lies the devil is whispering to me throughout the day. He's saying I should be afraid of the unknown future and saying I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. That God has not made a man on this earth for me. And I should worry about money because money is what this world revolves around....

I know that these things are bold-faced lies. I know God has created a strong, God-fearing man for me and he will be revealed to me in only God's timing. The people of the earth are worried about these things, but if only the world revolved around its Creator, the devil and all of his lies will be crushed like an ant beneath our feet. 

This war is internal and my God will win. 


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